I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
