I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
