You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
