Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
