so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
