ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
