if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
