apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We need to get me chipped asap
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
