He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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