You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
