The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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