do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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