i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
this will be a night to untag.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
