she woke up with a sticky ear
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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