I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
