just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Randomize