So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
