im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
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