So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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