I wanna bring you to show and tell
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
