Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
