I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
