it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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