it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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