i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
FUCK WHALES
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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