you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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