I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
