dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
