he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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