No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
