Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
