I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
