like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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