as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
