i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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