when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
