i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
