no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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