So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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