Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
where am i from again
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
