I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
