You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
