no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
