so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
A+ Viking dick
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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