Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
