Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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