nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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