Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
