And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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