This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
