she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
