Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
