those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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