just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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