they need to just BURY HIM!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
