sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Rumble strips road head = magical
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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