it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
