were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
