I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
