she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
