dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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