I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
